Sort it out

This week has been mentally tough. I feel like I’m fighting this week with everything I’ve got. I’m still on track, not eaten anything off plan but it’s been damned hard work mentally.  I don’t even want to cheat and stray from plan. I just can’t stop thinking about about food. I mean, constantly. I’ve been very hungry but I actually think thats maybe down to the medication I was given by my doctor. It was only pain killers but a strong dose and I think my brain has mistaken the my stomachs reaction to the meds for hunger, which wasn’t satisfied with the food I ate and still felt hungry, therefore my brain kicked in and told me to eat more. I knew I’d eaten enough so I had to tell my brain to be quiet but it kept telling me that I need to eat everything. Ive made it through the week. Weigh in is tomorrow morning (Thursday) and I hope I have a good loss to boost my positive thoughts again.

TTFN

Ann-Marie

Non scale victories

2lbs off this week meant that I was awarded my six and a half stone weight loss award. That’s 92 lbs since the end of April last year. That’s actually… a LOT. This means I’m about half way to where I want to be. I’ve not set an official target either in my head nor at my slimming group. I really didn’t think I’d get this far to be honest, but I am still full steam ahead. I really feel that there’s no stopping me this time. I am going to get to where I’m comfortable, and then I’m going to stay there. For the first time in my life, I have control!

It’s not always about the numbers on the scales, although they seem to be the thing that keeps us going from week to week. Sometimes the non scale victories (NSV) are more rewarding than the numbers on the scales. For instance… clothes. It took me at least 3 stone to even be able to tell I’d lost some weight and even then, it was my face that lost weight first. So I still wore the same baggy, comfy, elasticated clothes I wore 3 stone ago. Having lost another 3 and a half stone since then I have come to the realisation that I can no longer wear my comfort clothes. They were hanging off me. They were massive. So I’ve had to get a few clothes to see me through for a while until I need to get more again. I didn’t want to spend loads and I’ve never really been a clothes person. Cheap and cheerful will do.. although that may well be changing once I have a body worth dressing nicely. But yesterday, my non scale victory is that I went into a  shop and bought clothes from what I’d call, a normal person’s shop. Yay!! I’ve shopped online for years and years from the plus size catalogues, often choosing what fit me rather than what I’d like to wear. I’ve forgotten how to dress nicely, choosing what I’d like to wear. I think it’s going to take some time to be able to wear my choice of clothes because I’ve forgotten what my taste is. Big, baggy and volumnous to cover a multitude of sins. I’m still in loose fitting clothes obviously, but at least they’re a smaller size and I’m getting some kind of shape now, other than round and I’m not forced to shop in outsize/plus size shops. I may even become fashionable lol.

Other non scale victories are, I can put socks on easily without feeling like I’ve run a marathon. I can zip knee length boots up and still have room in them rather than forcing my calves into them and prising the zip up making my fingers hurt a lot.

And yesterday I had to go for my first ever mammogram, which obviously involved standing topless in front of a nurse. 6 and a half stone ago I would have died of embarrassment, but I managed ok knowing that I was already half way through tackling my weight and doing something about it. we even laughed and joked about how I had no idea how she would have dealt with my boobs had I not lost any weight. I wasn’t stood behind the door when they handed boobs out!! lol

So, always look for the positive in your weight loss, even if the numbers aren’t telling you what you think they should. There are always things to smile about.

TTFN

Ann-Marie xx