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I’ve done it.. re-joined

September 29, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

I have braved the scales this morning and re-joined my SW Class.

It was so heartwarming to be greeted with huge smiles and hugs and so many welcome back’s from the girls I knew in class before. They all said how much they’d missed me and my consultant gave me a huge hug. So nice.

The scales on the other hand weren’t so welcoming! Since stopping class at the end of May, beginning of June, I have gained 1 stone 6.5 pounds. I am so disgusted with myself. How on earth did I let myself do it? It’s just so easy to switch of any sensibility and start pigging out again.

But I can’t dwell on it. What’s done is done, and can now be un-done again. I’m not really letting on how mortified and disgusted I am, I have to put that out of my mind or I will end up abusing myself in my mind and that’s not a good way to re-start my journey to slimdome.

I think the one thing that’s at the front of my mind now is that I’m not as big as I was when I first started, and so any loss will show quicker than it used to. Being so huge when I started meant that I had to lose about 3 stone before anyone noticed. Once that 3 stone was gone, everyone noticed, so any weight losses now will show quicker… if that makes sense.

I really am not looking forward to letting Mark know how much I’ve gained when he gets home tonight. I feel like a naughty schoolgirl. Although he’s very supportive of my weight loss, he really struggles to understand my battle with food and weight. He just doesn’t understand how it can be such a problem. He doesn’t get the psychological side of it all. He did say, however, when I told him I was going back to class, that he was pleased and he said ok, lets get you to where you want to be and then we’ll work on keeping you there and work on the reasons why you over-eat. But it’s very difficult to explain it to a man who has no concept of psychological problems. He’s very much a man of mind over matter and willpower. I don’t work that way. I’m an emotional blob of jelly and meltdown quite easily. He struggles to understand why I need to go to a class each week for a day of reckoning. It keeps me on track, I get the support I need (and we have a laugh). He is of the opinion that if I’ve made my mind up to lose weight, I should just get on with it. Job done.

I have tried to explain to him about how we have to eat to survive and the culture we live in these days is full on promotion of anything that’s bad for you. So much advertising, especially now we’re heading towards Christmas. Everything seems to be about food. Why is it that we, as a culture, seem to think that to gain pleasure we have to eat luxurious, high calorie, high fat foods? But they always look so damned good. Losing weight isn’t like stopping smoking.  You don’t need to have cigarettes in the house, you certainly don’t have them advertised in your face left right and centre every time you turn around. You have the ability to avoid them. You don’t even have to sit and smell them when you go out for a meal or a drink these days what with the ban. But food is everywhere. They even offer it cheap. Buy one get one free meals, buy a meal get a dessert free, two meals for £7.50 etc etc. And of course, the supermarkets have a monopoly on low fat, low cal, healthy foods. They charge the earth for them because they know that us slimmers have to buy them. When I’m doing the SW plan, my shopping bill can easily go up by £30 a week. I have to pay more to eat healthily. Ridiculous!!

Oops, I went off onto a rant then. But… the deed is done.. I’ve faced the scales.. and back on track to a slimmer me 😀

LETS GO!!!

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  1. September 29, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Hi just wanted to say well done for re-joining SW. I have been back millions of times but always get a good welcome. Hope you manage to stick with the plan and achieve all you want.

    Lar

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