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Well, well, well…

September 27, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

It’s certainly been a long time since my last post on the 7th of June. Yikes! Has it really been that long? woah! Where did the time go?

After returning from our camping trip, I went to class a couple of times and was still going through that agonising on off on off, bit here, bit there syndrome that we hate to get into. Basically.. I gave up! I stopped going to class, stopped following the plan and decided I was fine as I was.

The biggest problem was my brain and eyes weren’t actually connected. My ears and brain were, but the eyes failed. Having lost 4 stone in a relatively short timescale my body had adjusted quite considerably. My clothes size had gone down a few sizes and friends were telling me ‘you look so good’ and ‘wow you look so different, or wow you look great. Ears told the brain, You look great, eyes didn’t participate in the conversation. Brain said, hmm you must look great if everyone is telling you, brain said, job done. Brain then said, eat what you like, but be cautious, you don’t want to put all that weight back on. Unhealthy food started appearing in the cupboards followed by my mouth. aha.. back on to the downward spiral of doom!!

I’d been brainwashed. My body was definately a lot smaller and my brain was telling me (just as my friends were) that I looked good. I did look good, compared to how I looked 4 stone heavier. I was no longer the fattest person in any room. Very quickly I convinced myself without even realising it that I was slim. Because my friends were telling my I looked good, I convinced myself that I did. Even my husband began complimenting me on how much better I was looking. I mistakenly took this to mean I look slim.

So, the healthy eating plan stopped, as did the classes and before long I’m right back into eating and pigging out on high fat, high calorie foods.

Between June and the end of August, I had put 4 lbs on. That wasn’t too bad really. I could handle that. But then my hubby started nagging me and asking when I was going back to class? When was I going to get the rest of my weight off? Bugger off you! I’m fine. Get off my case! Life got very upside down, and so many problems kept popping up and I comfort ate. Why the hell do I do that?

So fast forward to today. For some reason, my eyes have connected to my brain. I can see that I’m nowhere near an acceptable size and weight. I feel fat and bloated and I know that I have put on more than 4lbs. My jeans are tight and I feel terrible.

I will be going back to class on Tuesday morning and I’m feeling positive about it.

The ironic thing is, that I started on the 1st of October last year. The day I go back to class is the 30th of September, the following day is the 1st of October.  I am aiming to lose another 4 stone. I still won’t be at target and will still be in the Obese category on the medical charts, but another 4 stone is my PAT. As before, I’m not setting a timescale, just as and when.

I’m looking forward to going down the clothing sizes again. I feel quite happy about getting back on the plan. Whatever I’ve put on when I go to get weighed doesn’t matter really. I know that the haul won’t be anywhere near as long as it was when I started in October last year. I don’t have to start from the beginning again. It’s part two of my journey. I am feeling positive, my brain is in gear, despite it taking well over a month to get my brain to this place, but I’m good to go!

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  1. elizabeth
    September 27, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Hi Annie, don’t know if you remember me – elizabeth from Minimins, we started around the same time, same height, roughly same amount to lose etc! You were my mascot! 🙂

    I’ve missed you posting over there and have been checking this page occasionally, so glad to see you back. Good luck for Tuesday, you showed such amazing determination to get that 4st off, I’m certain you’ll do the next four now your head’s back in it.

  2. Ann-Marie
    September 27, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Hi Elizabeth, yes of course I remember you.. and you flatter me LOL.

    I’m going to come back over to minimins so I can drive you potty with my ramblings again LOL.

    I don’t know where the determination went to… I was determined wasn’t I? I think the sunshine soaked it up over summer, but it’s back now.. bring it on.. or rather .. off!

    How are you doing? and are you still at minimins?

  3. elizabeth
    September 28, 2009 at 6:04 am

    Good morning Annie, yes I’m still stopping by Minimins now and again, not many people I recognise now though to be honest.

    I’ve been struggling a bit over the past couple of months, but at my last weigh-in I was 13st 2lbs, so almost 6st down on my start weight. I get weighed again on Wednesday, I’ve been really good the past couple of weeks so I’m hoping I’ll be well into the 12s!

  4. Julie (CG)
    September 28, 2009 at 10:08 am

    You can do anything you set your mind too; always an inspiration!!

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