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Horrible week!


Well, it pains me to write this post. This week I gained 3lbs!! The worst of it is, it’s not food related. I’ve stuck to the plan, as I always do, yet still gained.  Why are women’s bodies so unkind to us once a month??

I’ve been suffering with a really bad back for a couple of weeks and have been taking 15 tablets (prescribed by the dr) every day. I don’t know if they’ve added to the time of the month gain or not, but to say I’m pissed off is an understatement! It really doesn’t matter how much sympathy, or empathy you get from class members (and it is lovely to have so much support beind you) it still doesn’t ease the OMG factor, and the ‘I didn’t deserve that much’ thoughts. I was so ready for saying stuff it!

It’s been made worse by the fact that we are going to Blackpool for the weekend and I was prepared to have a fairly relaxed weekend, staying on plan as much as possible and go for extra easy to make eating out a bit simpler. Having had the gain on Tuesday, I just CAN’T stay the same or gain again this week. I will be mortified! The stupid thing is I’m getting so anxious about it. It’s ridiculous really. For god’s sake, it’s only food! It’s not the end of the world if I stay the same, or have a little gain, but to me it is. I can’t rationalise it and accept what will be, will be. This all boils down to the eating disorder (whatever title it may have) that I live with. Food scares me. It’s frightening. It shouts me, it calls my name, it wants me to eat it. I really wish I could enjoy food for what it is, a pleasureable experience we need in order to survive… so why on earth does it rule so many people’s lives so much? Grrrrrr… frustration!

I have managed to get through and am still on track. I did have biscuits and chocolate on Tuesday night. Sort of a punishment for myself really. Punishing my own body for putting weight on. How stupid is that? But that’s done.. out of the way and on Wednesday morning I was right back on track, with the help of a friend who was there with coffee and sympathy. I don’t know if she realised she got me sorted or not, but she did. Otherwise, who knows what I’d have eaten on Wednesday morning. Probably the entire contents of the fridge, freezer and cupboards.

So anyway.. on to the weekend, and as good ol’ Doris Day sang… Que sera sera… 😀

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  1. alice
    March 19, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    hi annie, didnt just wanna read and run.
    dont let the gain get you down, it will make you be miserable – and we aint having that !!!
    so go have a good weekend – keep on track and hope you have a good week next week.
    We WILL All get ‘there’ in the end .
    And keep up with your postings on here – makes me laugh,smile,cry all at the same time
    speak to you soon
    alice xx

  2. March 20, 2009 at 8:24 pm

    Hey,

    we all have weeks like that… I can easily gain 4 or 5 lbs at certain times of month, so just keep eating right and it will go away again.

    Have a good week! Don’t worry about it too much! 🙂

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